Last week’s blog was entitled, A Real Friend is Good to Have. It discussed the values of having a true friend, especially in a time of need. This week’s blog shares the opposite.
Don’t be so quick to call everyone your friend. Everyone doesn’t deserve that title. Pay attention to the signs, and do not ignore them. Some signs may include: one-way conversations, poor choice of words, sarcasm, excessive joking, little enthusiasm, two-faced, and lack of support, to name a few.
One-Way Conversations
A two-way conversation involves talking and listening. But if you can barely get a word in, then it’s a one-way conversation. Many of us have had times when we needed to vent, but if that’s the only time you’re called, then you need to stop answering. That person is one-sided and full of drama. He’s not seeking advice, or she doesn’t value your opinion. He or she just wants to beat your ear drums with numerous decibels of nonsense. Recommend therapy and move on.
When’s the last time she called just to check in? When’s the last time he acknowledged your achievements privately instead of publicly? When’s the last time you received emotional support from that person, like a simple “sorry for your loss”?
I had to kick a few friends to the curb for showing lack of emotional support during my time of grief. Though they were more like mutual friends, they still consumed enough of my time in the past, and my time is too valuable to be squandered. If we’ve had multiple interactions over years, you always attend my parties, and you have my phone number, then you owe me a simple “sorry for your loss”, or you can get lost, for I’ve had associates to say the least.
Some of you may disagree with my approach, but I’m telling you from experience, those people are not worth keeping in your inner or outer circle.
Poor Choice of Words
Anyone who refers to your business as “little” or a “hustle” is not a true friend. The only time these words are acceptable is when you refer to it as such. You can’t expect anyone to call it something different when you downplay it yourself. It’s like getting upset when a friend calls you by the nickname you’ve given yourself. However, a friend who recognizes this flaw in the description of your business will correct you.
Be mindful that your friend might not mean any harm, if he or she is speaking casually and not known to belittle you. It’s how that person says it that should grab your attention. (Ex. “I see you got your lil t-shirt business going.”)
Sarcasm and Excessive Joking
“You got the promotion?” Girl, who’s behind did you have to kiss? Lol! I’m just playing. But congratulations!” First, sarcasm has no place in a healthy friendship. Second, if your achievements suddenly become a joke, then so is the friendship.
Little Enthusiasm
If your friends don’t get excited about your achievements, it may be a sign of jealousy. If they congratulate you with sarcasm, it may be a sign of jealousy and envy. Basically, the only time they’re happy is when the spotlight is not on you.
Two-Faced
A two-faced person is not just one who talks behind your back. He or she also does not defend you when you are being talked about. It is very possible to be friends with two people who never see eye-to-eye, but that friend must know to respect your boundaries when speaking of the other person. Anytime you allow someone to speak negatively of your friend in your presence, be it another friend or family member, your silence makes you two-faced.
Lack of Support
Support can take many different forms, and the lack thereof can contain all of the above. However, my focus here deals mainly with business ventures. First, let’s be clear. Your friend does not have to support everything you do, and sometimes you do need to ask for it. But just because you’ve started your own tax service, or you’re now selling insurance doesn’t mean they are obligated to switch providers. Nevertheless, that person has the duty of at least mentioning your product or service when the opportunity arises and sharing the info. An example of lack of support is when your friend purposely won’t purchase or share your product or service because it will benefit you. Bottom line, any friend that won’t support you out of spite is a hater, and hating is not healthy in any relationship.
Lastly, if your friends don’t show up to the launching event of your new business venture or project, they care nothing about you winning, especially while they’re losing. If it’s not a “turn up”, then don’t expect them to show up. Let those low vibrational friends go because they are not happy with themselves.
Now that you know how to identify a fake friend, remove the weed from your garden and do not become one.
And remember… “Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”
What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.
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Photo: Life of Pix
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