Change – Life Lessons

Stand On Business, Not Bitterness

People will walk all over you, if you let them. I know from experience. I was once a revolving door, but now I require an access card. I used to reward people without making them work for it. But that’s unfair. You don’t deserve a badge of honor for messing over good people. It’s not about reciprocity. It’s about respect.

If it’s easy for someone to exit a relationship, then they were only one foot in. An alliance with you shouldn’t be an escape room experience, but it should earn one some points. When you’re scoring high on many charts in life, including integrity, honesty, and loyalty, your character is worth a lot. Why wouldn’t you value a relationship that has free benefits and longevity? Jobs can’t even guarantee that anymore.

Don’t just play games, Win them

Relationships are important – even corporations understand that. People do business with people they trust. In this world, trust goes a long way. It can get you access to other important people, money, jobs, loans, and so much more. Only fools fumble good people, which causes them to lose points. And if you haven’t realized it by now, life is like a game of chess. One wrong move can set you back.

You don’t win a game by losing points. And of course, every loss isn’t a loss. However, you should be careful and avoid burning bridges with people who have never done you any wrong. They are a gift from God. Take a look around you and assess all the relationships that dissolved because of misunderstandings, gossip, jealousy, or envy.

Don’t let any of the aforementioned block your blessings. God blesses through people, not popular opinions or feelings. If a friend or family member of yours is doing better than you, then you need to take lessons and move in closer, not farther apart. Information is sometimes hidden or unavailable to common folk, but your friend or family member may have access.

Don’t go back and forth, Deny Access

If you can see the value in yourself, then so should they. People who don’t have the decency to apologize and take accountability for their actions should be taught a lesson. Stop letting people just resurface without an explanation or apology. Yes, they do owe you that if you’ve been nothing but loyal and kind. Forgiveness does not mean reconnect and forget. It erases resentment so you can have peace.

Protect your peace by denying them access to you. You can still be cordial, but you need to stand on business. Otherwise, they will treat you like a revolving door because you have no boundaries. Hold these people accountable by letting them know where they went wrong with you, if you decide to let them back in. But always remember, a zebra cannot change its stripes, and wolves can come in sheep’s clothing.

Always use discernment when dealing with people who have failed the morality test. Deduct history, length of time, and relationship because they will cloud your judgement.

Life is too short to be wasting your good energy and time with ungrateful people.

“To know me is a gift. To receive my love is a blessing. To cross me is a warning. To lose me is a lesson.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Check out my books in the links below:

I’m G.O.O.D. – Volume One

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/im-good

https://a.wco/d/dDLzPDo

I’m Still G.O.O.D. – Volume Two

https://store.bookbaby.com/book/im-still-good1

https://a.sco/d/8t5nx9m

Do It For Yourself

Whatever it is you’re doing in life, make sure you’re doing it for yourself. It’s okay to secure a bag, but it’s best to secure your own happiness first. I believe most people would live simple lives if they weren’t comparing themselves to others or trying to meet some societal standard. Many say they don’t care what others think, but their lifestyle says otherwise.

In my 46 years of living, I’ve observed how people in rural areas live versus people in urban and suburban areas. It seems like people who live in the country (rural areas) prioritize peace over worldly possessions. They may look like they don’t have much by the way they dress, but they usually own acres of land. Now, you tell me which is worth more? I also find them to be some of the happiest, kindest, and content people in the United States.

They are also healthier because they eat more fresh foods from their own gardens and local markets. One of my kin folks in Mississippi recently celebrated her 99th birthday. Nevertheless, she’s not the only kin of mine in her 90s. I wouldn’t say all of them are very healthy, but they are still here. When I talk to these folks, they don’t seem to worry and stress as much as us city folks do, which is a huge contributor to health. They don’t value material things and aesthetics so much either. Most city folks invest more in vanity than their own sanity. Some of us will even risk our own lives for the perfect look.

So, take a look at your life and ask yourself, am I doing this for me? Anyone who desires everlasting joy and peace will not let anything or anyone compromise it. Therefore, if anything or anyone is jeopardizing your peace, let it go. If beauty is making you go broke, learn to love your natural self. If you’re constantly spending money you don’t have to attend every event or travel frequently, learn to live within your limits and explore less costly hobbies. Whether you’re in Mexico or Maine, they’re going to like your post anyway. If that big house and luxury car are breaking the bank, downsize. They’re going to talk about you either way. But I’d rather downsize my assets and upsize my peace any day.

“I don’t need to have everything, but I have everything I need. Pleasing others is just too hard, so I live within my means.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Check out my books by clicking the links below:

I’m G.O.O.D. – Volume One

https://a.co/d/dDLzPDo

I’m Still G.O.O.D. – Volume Two

https://a.co/d/8t5nx9m

It’s How You Finish

Most people in this world start out with a pretty rough patch, but I’m here to testify that it doesn’t have to end that way. As long as you’re living, your story is still being written. As long as you’re spiritually grounded, you are receiving God’s gifts. As long as God is your strength, he’ll keep fighting for your peace every day. And as long as you’re winning, God is gaining all the credit.

Your Story, God’s Glory

Whether you grew up in the projects, scattered-sites, or suburbs, everyone has a story to tell. Therefore, you can never assume someone necessarily had it better than you because of where they grew up. It’s about how they grew up.

Someone growing up in the projects may have had to duck from bullets in their bedroom. Someone growing up in the scattered-sites may have had to duck from punches while their parents were fighting. Someone who grew up in the suburbs may have had to duck from the bully at school. Nowadays, anything can happen anywhere.

Either you are motivated to change the course of your life or continue to live in your past. You only get to create one story of your life, but each chapter doesn’t have to tell the same story. Don’t let your upbringing be an excuse for failure. Use it as ammunition to keep fighting. The beauty of it all is that you’ll never have to fight alone.

Your Plight, God’s Fight

Everyone faced some trials and tribulations to get where they are today. There were times you felt like giving up but God helped you keep going. There were times when the burdens felt too heavy to carry alone, but God lent you a hand or took them away. There were times you put on your boxing gloves and swung with all your might, but God hit the target and ended the battle. That kind of peace triggers unspeakable joy!

God’s Gifts, Your Blessings

Any time you complete an important assignment, project, or goal, don’t you feel like celebrating? You might throw a party, take a trip, or simply treat yourself to a bottle of wine and relaxation. That feeling of relief is priceless! But shortly after, it’s back to the rat race as usual.

Gifts from ourselves or others are great, but the feeling isn’t everlasting. That’s why for every step you take towards any achievement, you should count it as a gift from God. When you make it to the finish line, tally up each gift and you will see the blessings unfold right before your eyes. That feeling is not only priceless – it’s breathtaking!

God’s gifts cannot be broken, destroyed, or transferred and always lead to blessings. Your partner bought you a ring, but God blessed you with a marriage. The school honored you with a scholarship, but God blessed you with an education. The bank approved your loan, but God blessed you with a home. Your significant other gave you his seed, but God blessed you with a child. Your parents gave you DNA, but God paved the way for your success!

Your Win, God’s Gain

When we finally make it to the finish line, we give God all the glory because the road trip wasn’t easy. In fact, it was filled with blood, sweat, tears, and loss for some, including setbacks, restarts, and extensions…everything but excuses. All that matters is you made it.

Now that you’ve won. God feels like his work is done for that chapter in your life. He too feels accomplished for walking you through a challenging time in your life. It is said that what is hard for us is easy for God, but I believe it’s just not as hard for God as it is for us.

While God is working overtime in your favor, the devil is busy setting up traps for you to fail, so he can win you over. That’s why some things take longer than expected. Have you ever taken a road trip that should’ve only taken eight hours but took 12 instead? Perhaps you suddenly ran into unexpected traffic, roadblocks, bad weather, a mechanical breakdown, or some other delay? What about the debt or discrepancies you had to resolve before getting approved for your mortgage loan? To my graduates, have you ever had to postpone your graduation date because life got in the way?

It’s always something, isn’t it? That something may not always be the devil though. Sometimes that something is just life happening to you or the result of having a life. No one ever said it would be easy or fair. Nonetheless, God is that someone who delivers us all. When you count your blessings, count God three times.

“From the moment you discovered who you are, troubles seemed near, and blessings seemed far. Trust the process. The sky is the limit. It’s not how you started, it’s how you finish.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽