I know we’re not the only people to criticize our own, but we are a minority group – the most oppressed one at that. Black men can’t be faithful. Black women are classless. And the negative stereotypes we attack each other with go on and on.
Isn’t it enough that other races do it to us? In my own personal experience in the workplace, I’ve tried to be extra careful with my delivery in communications so I wouldn’t be referred to as “the angry Black woman”. But how come we don’t hear stuff like, “the rude Hispanic woman”, “the condescending or sarcastic White man”, or “the antisocial Asian”? Instead, we often hear people say stuff like, “Oh, that’s just how they are in their culture”. I’ve even found myself saying that. So, how come our behavior is never just a reflection of our culture? Since we’re making excuses for one another.
Let’s talk about a few of these stereotypes and how we can become better as a people.
Black men cheat
Of course they do. But they are not the only ones. I never knew cheating was limited to one small group of people. If you do some research or just look around, then you’ll find that all races cheat, not just Black people.
People from all walks of life cheat, including the LGBTQIA community. It’s not a Black problem. It’s a human problem.
Black men abandon their children
First, this is not limited to the Black man. Women of all races abandon children too. In fact, she does so every time she makes the decision to put a child up for adoption. And the most clever way of abandoning the responsibility of raising a child is by having an abortion.
Second, Black men do not abandon children. They abandon relationships, and the children suffer as a result. Women often use the child as a weapon. What better way to hurt a man? If the children were such a burden, then you’d let them go stay with their father. But you refuse because then you won’t qualify for child support.
I know responsible men who didn’t deserve to be put on child support, and I also know some deadbeats who did deserve it. I know couples who let the court decide and couples who didn’t need to. What about the Black men taking care of kids that are not his? Or the Black men who provide for his kids but never get to spend time with them because he’s always working?
It is very true that some Black men do abandon their children, but to say all Black men do is just unfair. Anytime you do not quantify the statement by saying “some” or “many”, you are generalizing an entire group with a negative stereotype.
Both men and women need to take responsibility. You are adult to know the risks of having sexual intercourse without protection. You should also pick your partners wisely, even if it is a one-night stand. You can’t go around blaming others for your mistakes or poor decisions. How can you teach your children to do so when you don’t? Lead by example.
It amazes me at how many guys get called bums and girls get called whores after the damage is already done. Most of the time, people know who they are dealing with before they get to the point of intimacy, which usually doesn’t take long.
Ladies, you thought nothing of his bum status when you saw him with his t-shirt off sweating on that basketball court in those gray sweatpants. Fellas, you cared nothing about her body count or character when you saw those jeans sprayed on her or how she was twerking in the club with that short dress on.
It’s fair to say that humans abandon their common sense and make impulsive decisions.
Black women have bad attitudes
So do Hispanic women, White women, and Asian women with the right triggers. Black women usually have more triggers. Oftentimes, we’re defensive because we’re defenseless in a world against us. We’re not privileged and never have been.
Black women are classless
What if we said Black men were asses? You’re insulting your own mother, if she’s a Black woman. It’s ridiculous to turn around and say you’re not talking about your own mother when making a statement like that, when you didn’t quantify it. I can agree that many women today are classless. I can even agree that many Black women today are classless, if we’re talking about a specific group of people. I can’t deny the truth.
But it’s a shame we have so many Black male podcasters attacking Black woman, when their platform should be used to uplift Black women. I’m never personally offended by any of their messages or any related social media posts I see because I know I don’t fit the descriptions. However, several women are sensitive to those negative messages.
If you don’t have a solution, then there’s no sense in just discussing the issue. Or at least address the issue with positive discussions.
Message 🗣️
Instead of making everything a Black problem, let’s call it what it really is – a human problem. Some issues are race or gender-specific. However, the aforementioned have nothing to do with race or gender. In order for us to grow as a people, we need to do less criticizing and more collaborating.
“A generational curse starts with a generational belief. If we set a negative tone for the next generation, then what have we achieved?”
-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽
