The Marriage vs. The Wedding

Would you want a marriage or a wedding? The two are not interchangeable. A wedding is just a ceremony, but a marriage is a testimony. Sometimes we make decisions or commitments based on our status quo. Such commitment made out of anything other than love is not a marriage. So before you fasten your elegant dress sandals, just remember that the pain produced out of empty love is worse than the pain you will feel after dancing in those heels all night.

In a marriage, memories are created out of love, laughter, and living up to one’s expectations. Happiness comes from knowing you can trust and depend on your mate through the toughest times. Joy comes from knowing you are loved the same, no matter how much your looks might change. You accept that your mate is not perfect. But you relish in the fact that he or she is committed to pleasing you at all costs. You never feel lonely in a marriage. You never feel left out in a marriage. You never feel torn in a marriage, but you can become scorn when you find out all alone, you just had a wedding. Now this doesn’t imply that marriages are problem free. It’s just that people who are really in love with each other don’t let storms become disasters. You can’t always predict the weather in a marriage, but you can get a clear forecast in a wedding.

In a wedding, either one or both persons are not in love. Most of the time, it’s just one. It’s rare that two people who are not in love would even consider marriage. The person who is not in love has another interest(s). There are a number of reasons why a person would enter such agreement, but financial security, pregnancy, loneliness, religion, and acceptance are the top five on my list.

“If he has a lot of bling, marriage might be a good thing. Since I’m already with child, marriage fits the lifestyle. I’d rather have someone hold my hand than be alone in the stands. I don’t want to be judged or have bad luck, so I’d better stop shacking up. All my friends are married, so I better act now. I’m tired of standing out and living foul.”

Don’t get caught up in your feelings and insecurities. Instead of chasing money, seek a career. If your baby won’t be born into a loving family, then marriage won’t fix your problem. If you are lonely, join a social club. If you were so holy, you wouldn’t have been shacking up in the first place. And if your married friends don’t want to hang out anymore, find a new hobby or some new friends. If you go in with cold feet, you will come out with blisters. Therefore, don’t let anyone pressure you into getting married. When it’s your time, you’ll know it. If he is the one, he’ll show it. Marriage is easier to get into than it is to get out, so choose wisely.

When that time comes, don’t let money stop you from marrying your soulmate. The biggest weddings tend to have the biggest break ups, and the bigger the ring, the bigger might be his expectations. Don’t let the size of the wedding or the ring itself determine the strength of the love. The happiest marriage can come out of the smallest wedding. Trust me. I know firsthand:)

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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Photo: Flickr. Shoes, legs, & just a glimpse of… by Jlhopgood CC

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Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson

In short, I'm a work of ART (Aptitude, Resolve, & Talent). My goal is to Attract, Retain, and Teach an audience between the ages of 14 to about 50 and beyond the disciplines of life. I've been blessed with the gift of giving knowledge and creating peace within the souls of many who are starving for spiritual satisfaction. I'm no prophet, but I do believe that I am one of God's chosen spiritual leaders and sources of information on how to walk a straight path down a crooked road.

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