love – Life Lessons

Go The Extra Mile

When I take my nature walks to maintain good heart health, I always go the extra mile. The recommended 30 minute walk gets me about 1.25 miles, but the additional 30 minutes or so make me feel accomplished.

A goal is a target. Once you reach it, you have the opportunity to stop or keep going. When you stop, it means, “that’s enough”. But when you keep going, it means, “you’re up for a challenge.” What if God said, “that’s enough”, when we asked for his grace and forgiveness?

Imagine what life would be like if everyone only did the bare minimum. When the major Hurricane Katrina and Rita (2005) destroyed much of New Orleans, people went the extra mile. I can remember when we had arrived to Dallas, Texas, a total stranger walked up and handed me $40 and another took my family in his own home, while helping us find a place to stay. We were also offered to live rent-free for one full year in Oklahoma, but we declined the offer to stay close to family.

Prior to moving to Dallas, we were initially displaced to Natchez, Mississippi where we were housed and fed by my husband’s family members we had never met. We stayed there for about a week. They treated us good and didn’t want us to leave because they enjoyed our company so much. But we needed to locate our other family members.

There were many people around the world who had come to our aid – too many stories to share. But amidst all the goodness that was happening around the world, of course, many people weren’t so lucky. In fact, it was the worst time of their lives. I’m thankful that God found favor in my family because our aftermath could have been much worse. We were truly blessed. However, you couldn’t pay me to relive that moment.

Then there was the Great Flood in Baton Rouge, Louisiana in August of 2018 up until the destructive wildfires in Los Angeles, California and the dangerous tornadoes in North Texas this year. So many events happened within this timeline, such as the horrific global pandemic (2020), the unprecedented flooding in New York (2021), the deadly wildfires in Maui, Hawaii and so on – all of which people weren’t prepared for. Nevertheless, people stepped up and went the extra mile, which is the result of thoughts and prayers put into action.

Wanna make a bigger impact? Don’t wait until another natural disaster hits or some other devastating event that makes the news to go the extra mile. It’s the little things that make the biggest impression. Wash your elderly neighbor’s car or simply pull her trash cans to the curb. Offer to buy your co-worker some lunch if he can’t seem to pull away from work. If your friend is out of work, send a love donation or care package just because. If a friend is asking for donations of at least $25, why not do $30? An extra $5 won’t break the bank for what it’s worth today.

In order to gain God’s favor, you must have faith. To maintain your faith, you must filter out all the negative things you hear and focus on his word. Obedience is a blessing, not a burden. 2 Corinthians 9:6 says, “Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.” Don’t let one bad experience stop you from going the extra mile because you never know when you may benefit from someone else’s obedience.

“When life catches you off guard, you can always call on the Lord!“

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Do Unto Others

Are you living by the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Could you imagine what life would be like if everyone adhered to this simple rule?

No one can say he or she has never sinned. If so, this world would be a perfect place. If you’ve ever taken supplies home from work for personal use, you’ve sinned. If you’ve ever told a white lie, you’ve sinned. If you’ve ever remained silent about a serious situation, you’ve sinned. The list can go on and on.

Just because the impact seemed light or was indirect doesn’t make it right. Imagine if you had a business and your expenses kept increasing because employees were stealing. Imagine if someone told you a white lie that created big consequences. He asked you if his breath stinks and you said no. Now they are clowning him at work behind his back. Imagine if you needed your sibling to back you up about a false accusation another family member made. How would you feel?

What about when you betrayed someone’s trust by lying, cheating, stealing, or withholding pertinent information? There are so many different ways to betray someone, but all it takes is one bad decision. You should always think about how your actions might affect others. If your actions cause you to hurt someone, you should apologize immediately.

It’s the little things that seem trivial yet can cause the biggest arguments, especially in a shared household. Clean out your tub after you bathe or shower. Clean up your hair after you shave. Wash your dirty dishes at home and at someone else’s house. Bottom line, keep your area clean. It’s not just your responsibility. It’s also common courtesy.

In public, leave room so someone can park next to you. Don’t block anyone in. Don’t litter. Don’t urinate all over the toilet and make a mess. Have enough decency to wipe the seat, if you do. Flush the toilet. Don’t put paper products in the toilet. Don’t leave a trail of tissue or water all over the sink. Show some respect for an available restroom, for those are the reasons businesses do not make their restrooms available to the public.

In traffic, don’t be rude. Let the other driver merge. Use your blinkers and stop just cutting in front of people. Stop cruising in the left lane. It’s for passing. Don’t text and drive. Get off the phone and pay attention to the road. If it’s that important, pull over. If you’re too distracted in any way to drive defensively, you’re likely to cause an accident.

As you can see, the golden rule goes beyond just the way you treat people directly. It’s your indirect actions and personal responsibility that can make this world a better place.

“Individually, you can improve your household. Collectively, we can improve the world.”🌎

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson✍🏽

Don’t Hit Send Yet

Have you ever received a message that ruffled your feathers or made you a little uncomfortable? Think about how you responded versus how you should’ve responded. I’ve had my share of those messages in the past, and I failed the test each time up until 2019.

Oftentimes, it’s not necessarily what was said but how it was conveyed or who delivered it. Sometimes people get offended by one word or remark that triggered the negative reaction. Nothing else mentioned in the entire message mattered.

We are all sensitive to a set of triggers that can really get our blood boiling. Typical triggers can include the use of profanity or sexually explicit language, mentioning a loved one or painful past event, a negative tone, threats, and etc. What sets you off can be determined by many factors, but the good news is, there are ways to combat it.

Whenever or if ever you receive a disturbing text or direct message, never respond right away. Take these steps instead:

Breathe

Breathing exercises can immediately cease the need to react with haste. It helps to relieve the anger and balance your emotions, allowing you to rationalize instead of antagonizing the situation. Take as many deep breaths as necessary to release all the negative energy stirred up from that unsettling message.

Think

There’s a reason behind every message. Sometimes the message has nothing to do with the reason, or the reason doesn’t quite align with the message. In that case, there’s an underlying problem that may have nothing to do with you.

I once received a disturbing phone call from a mutual friend. I was totally caught off guard and clueless to what she was saying. There was never bad energy between us, so I knew something was off.

During the first conversation, I mostly listened to what she had to say to try to understand her point, only to learn that there was none. She took her anger and frustration out on me because of some personal issues she was dealing with in her life. I thought I was just an easy target, until learning that she was going off on everyone in her circle.

I must admit, the second conversation didn’t go so well. I ended up using profanity and hanging up on her. That one offensive line hurt her feelings deeply. Sadly, I wished I had gone harder. Don’t judge me. God wasn’t through with me yet. However, I thank God I didn’t let the devil use me because that poor woman is still lost until this day.

Whether the person is totally out of line or has a reasonable explanation, always think before you speak. It can help you quickly diffuse the situation and ease the pain.

Forgive

If you know anything about forgiveness, then you should know this is for you, not necessarily the other person. It really does create inner peace. Holding onto anger and grudges take too much power and control over you. Trust me. I know from experience.

You may never forget how that person treated you, but at least, you’ll have peace of mind, which is priceless. If you need God’s help with forgiveness, seek it. Ask him to show his face, listen to your thoughts, and heal your heart from the pain this person has caused. If you don’t think you can do it the same day in which the message was received, then don’t respond that day. Allow yourself time to reflect and heal, so you can forgive.

It’s also okay to let the person know you’ve forgiven him or her. She’s ready to go back and forth. But remember, it doesn’t become a fight until you step into the ring. You’d be surprised at how your mature reaction can quickly put out a fire, unless you’re dealing with an unstable person or one with mental health issues.

Respond

Now that you’re ready to respond, how will you? If you still want to curse this person out, then you’re not ready because you haven’t healed. Not sure how? Always ask God to choose your words first. Nevertheless, you can always keep it short and sweet by saying something like, “None of this is true. I pray you get the answers you’re seeking.” “Your problem is not with me, but I’ll be praying for you.” “I’m sorry you feel this way, but this is totally unacceptable. I pray you get the help you need.” “I’m offended by your message. None of this makes sense. However, I forgive you and pray that you get the help you deserve.” “No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I’ll be praying for you.” Or you can always just say, “I’ll be praying for you.”

Sometimes it may be necessary to call or meet up, depending on the relationship or circumstances. Texting can get really ugly because many people don’t know how to communicate that way effectively, leading to messages getting misconstrued.

“Whether the message came from a foe or friend, think before hitting send. When communication gets lost, conflict begins.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽