Peace – Life Lessons

It’s How You Finish

Most people in this world start out with a pretty rough patch, but I’m here to testify that it doesn’t have to end that way. As long as you’re living, your story is still being written. As long as you’re spiritually grounded, you are receiving God’s gifts. As long as God is your strength, he’ll keep fighting for your peace every day. And as long as you’re winning, God is gaining all the credit.

Your Story, God’s Glory

Whether you grew up in the projects, scattered-sites, or suburbs, everyone has a story to tell. Therefore, you can never assume someone necessarily had it better than you because of where they grew up. It’s about how they grew up.

Someone growing up in the projects may have had to duck from bullets in their bedroom. Someone growing up in the scattered-sites may have had to duck from punches while their parents were fighting. Someone who grew up in the suburbs may have had to duck from the bully at school. Nowadays, anything can happen anywhere.

Either you are motivated to change the course of your life or continue to live in your past. You only get to create one story of your life, but each chapter doesn’t have to tell the same story. Don’t let your upbringing be an excuse for failure. Use it as ammunition to keep fighting. The beauty of it all is that you’ll never have to fight alone.

Your Plight, God’s Fight

Everyone faced some trials and tribulations to get where they are today. There were times you felt like giving up but God helped you keep going. There were times when the burdens felt too heavy to carry alone, but God lent you a hand or took them away. There were times you put on your boxing gloves and swung with all your might, but God hit the target and ended the battle. That kind of peace triggers unspeakable joy!

God’s Gifts, Your Blessings

Any time you complete an important assignment, project, or goal, don’t you feel like celebrating? You might throw a party, take a trip, or simply treat yourself to a bottle of wine and relaxation. That feeling of relief is priceless! But shortly after, it’s back to the rat race as usual.

Gifts from ourselves or others are great, but the feeling isn’t everlasting. That’s why for every step you take towards any achievement, you should count it as a gift from God. When you make it to the finish line, tally up each gift and you will see the blessings unfold right before your eyes. That feeling is not only priceless – it’s breathtaking!

God’s gifts cannot be broken, destroyed, or transferred and always lead to blessings. Your partner bought you a ring, but God blessed you with a marriage. The school honored you with a scholarship, but God blessed you with an education. The bank approved your loan, but God blessed you with a home. Your significant other gave you his seed, but God blessed you with a child. Your parents gave you DNA, but God paved the way for your success!

Your Win, God’s Gain

When we finally make it to the finish line, we give God all the glory because the road trip wasn’t easy. In fact, it was filled with blood, sweat, tears, and loss for some, including setbacks, restarts, and extensions…everything but excuses. All that matters is you made it.

Now that you’ve won. God feels like his work is done for that chapter in your life. He too feels accomplished for walking you through a challenging time in your life. It is said that what is hard for us is easy for God, but I believe it’s just not as hard for God as it is for us.

While God is working overtime in your favor, the devil is busy setting up traps for you to fail, so he can win you over. That’s why some things take longer than expected. Have you ever taken a road trip that should’ve only taken eight hours but took 12 instead? Perhaps you suddenly ran into unexpected traffic, roadblocks, bad weather, a mechanical breakdown, or some other delay? What about the debt or discrepancies you had to resolve before getting approved for your mortgage loan? To my graduates, have you ever had to postpone your graduation date because life got in the way?

It’s always something, isn’t it? That something may not always be the devil though. Sometimes that something is just life happening to you or the result of having a life. No one ever said it would be easy or fair. Nonetheless, God is that someone who delivers us all. When you count your blessings, count God three times.

“From the moment you discovered who you are, troubles seemed near, and blessings seemed far. Trust the process. The sky is the limit. It’s not how you started, it’s how you finish.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Do Unto Others

Are you living by the Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Could you imagine what life would be like if everyone adhered to this simple rule?

No one can say he or she has never sinned. If so, this world would be a perfect place. If you’ve ever taken supplies home from work for personal use, you’ve sinned. If you’ve ever told a white lie, you’ve sinned. If you’ve ever remained silent about a serious situation, you’ve sinned. The list can go on and on.

Just because the impact seemed light or was indirect doesn’t make it right. Imagine if you had a business and your expenses kept increasing because employees were stealing. Imagine if someone told you a white lie that created big consequences. He asked you if his breath stinks and you said no. Now they are clowning him at work behind his back. Imagine if you needed your sibling to back you up about a false accusation another family member made. How would you feel?

What about when you betrayed someone’s trust by lying, cheating, stealing, or withholding pertinent information? There are so many different ways to betray someone, but all it takes is one bad decision. You should always think about how your actions might affect others. If your actions cause you to hurt someone, you should apologize immediately.

It’s the little things that seem trivial yet can cause the biggest arguments, especially in a shared household. Clean out your tub after you bathe or shower. Clean up your hair after you shave. Wash your dirty dishes at home and at someone else’s house. Bottom line, keep your area clean. It’s not just your responsibility. It’s also common courtesy.

In public, leave room so someone can park next to you. Don’t block anyone in. Don’t litter. Don’t urinate all over the toilet and make a mess. Have enough decency to wipe the seat, if you do. Flush the toilet. Don’t put paper products in the toilet. Don’t leave a trail of tissue or water all over the sink. Show some respect for an available restroom, for those are the reasons businesses do not make their restrooms available to the public.

In traffic, don’t be rude. Let the other driver merge. Use your blinkers and stop just cutting in front of people. Stop cruising in the left lane. It’s for passing. Don’t text and drive. Get off the phone and pay attention to the road. If it’s that important, pull over. If you’re too distracted in any way to drive defensively, you’re likely to cause an accident.

As you can see, the golden rule goes beyond just the way you treat people directly. It’s your indirect actions and personal responsibility that can make this world a better place.

“Individually, you can improve your household. Collectively, we can improve the world.”🌎

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson✍🏽

Don’t Hit Send Yet

Have you ever received a message that ruffled your feathers or made you a little uncomfortable? Think about how you responded versus how you should’ve responded. I’ve had my share of those messages in the past, and I failed the test each time up until 2019.

Oftentimes, it’s not necessarily what was said but how it was conveyed or who delivered it. Sometimes people get offended by one word or remark that triggered the negative reaction. Nothing else mentioned in the entire message mattered.

We are all sensitive to a set of triggers that can really get our blood boiling. Typical triggers can include the use of profanity or sexually explicit language, mentioning a loved one or painful past event, a negative tone, threats, and etc. What sets you off can be determined by many factors, but the good news is, there are ways to combat it.

Whenever or if ever you receive a disturbing text or direct message, never respond right away. Take these steps instead:

Breathe

Breathing exercises can immediately cease the need to react with haste. It helps to relieve the anger and balance your emotions, allowing you to rationalize instead of antagonizing the situation. Take as many deep breaths as necessary to release all the negative energy stirred up from that unsettling message.

Think

There’s a reason behind every message. Sometimes the message has nothing to do with the reason, or the reason doesn’t quite align with the message. In that case, there’s an underlying problem that may have nothing to do with you.

I once received a disturbing phone call from a mutual friend. I was totally caught off guard and clueless to what she was saying. There was never bad energy between us, so I knew something was off.

During the first conversation, I mostly listened to what she had to say to try to understand her point, only to learn that there was none. She took her anger and frustration out on me because of some personal issues she was dealing with in her life. I thought I was just an easy target, until learning that she was going off on everyone in her circle.

I must admit, the second conversation didn’t go so well. I ended up using profanity and hanging up on her. That one offensive line hurt her feelings deeply. Sadly, I wished I had gone harder. Don’t judge me. God wasn’t through with me yet. However, I thank God I didn’t let the devil use me because that poor woman is still lost until this day.

Whether the person is totally out of line or has a reasonable explanation, always think before you speak. It can help you quickly diffuse the situation and ease the pain.

Forgive

If you know anything about forgiveness, then you should know this is for you, not necessarily the other person. It really does create inner peace. Holding onto anger and grudges take too much power and control over you. Trust me. I know from experience.

You may never forget how that person treated you, but at least, you’ll have peace of mind, which is priceless. If you need God’s help with forgiveness, seek it. Ask him to show his face, listen to your thoughts, and heal your heart from the pain this person has caused. If you don’t think you can do it the same day in which the message was received, then don’t respond that day. Allow yourself time to reflect and heal, so you can forgive.

It’s also okay to let the person know you’ve forgiven him or her. She’s ready to go back and forth. But remember, it doesn’t become a fight until you step into the ring. You’d be surprised at how your mature reaction can quickly put out a fire, unless you’re dealing with an unstable person or one with mental health issues.

Respond

Now that you’re ready to respond, how will you? If you still want to curse this person out, then you’re not ready because you haven’t healed. Not sure how? Always ask God to choose your words first. Nevertheless, you can always keep it short and sweet by saying something like, “None of this is true. I pray you get the answers you’re seeking.” “Your problem is not with me, but I’ll be praying for you.” “I’m sorry you feel this way, but this is totally unacceptable. I pray you get the help you need.” “I’m offended by your message. None of this makes sense. However, I forgive you and pray that you get the help you deserve.” “No weapon formed against me shall prosper. I’ll be praying for you.” Or you can always just say, “I’ll be praying for you.”

Sometimes it may be necessary to call or meet up, depending on the relationship or circumstances. Texting can get really ugly because many people don’t know how to communicate that way effectively, leading to messages getting misconstrued.

“Whether the message came from a foe or friend, think before hitting send. When communication gets lost, conflict begins.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽