Social Media Has No Filter For Your Feelings

I get it…Facebook asks you, “What’s on your mind?” Twitter asks you, “What’s happening? Instagram pretty much says, “Do you.” But do you have to?

Think of it like this. If you wouldn’t say or do it in public, then don’t say or do it on social media because it’s the same as doing it in public – only much worse. At least in public, only a group of people might witness your behavior, unless of course, someone records you. But when you take the liberty to post it on social media, you’ve been exposed to the whole world.

You can’t control other people’s actions, especially in a society where people seek an opportunity to catch someone off guard or in rare form for views, reactions, and shares. But you can control your own behavior, on and off of social media.

What’s your purpose?

Behind every post, there is a motive, whether it’s to share information, promote a product or service, get a reaction, seek advice or recommendations; for empathy, sympathy, entertainment, attention, and etc. However, you must understand that anything posted publicly welcomes comments – some you may like or dislike. Depending on how deep it is, it might go viral and trigger unfriendly memes.

You are not exempt from judgment in the cyber world. Trolls and bullies are standing by to disrupt your spirit. You thought it was safe to vent in your TikTok video or Facebook Live until the trolls gave you a rude awakening the next morning. Now you’re the poster child of an unfit mother or dead beat dad, savage single lady, or misogynistic male.

What you may have meant for entertainment might place you under attack, so beware. You do have every right to exercise Amendment #1 and post or upload content to your taste, but if you are a sensitive person, you should moderate your content and consider not posting it at all, especially if it’s personal.

Trolling and bullying are not cool, but some people live for this. If the site you’re posting on does not deem a person’s comment offensive, then you must train yourself to unsee it or be strong enough to just take. Or, you could spend countless hours debating and trying to defend yourself. If you have the time and energy, then go for it. But please leave your feelings on the bench because the trolls and bullies will show no mercy on the field.

Don’t take it personal, It’s virtual

Now that the trolls have remixed your message or content, you have two choices: you can either try to redeem yourself or just let it go. I suggest you just let it go because for one, it’s virtual. You can turn these people off at anytime by simply not logging on. It’s who you to let into your personal space that matters. For two, with so much going on in the world and new content being uploaded by the nanosecond, yours will soon be forgotten about. For three, people’s opinions do not define who you are. You do.

Words can hurt

Most people don’t post content to get a negative reaction, but that comes with it. You can try to pretend that the opinions of others don’t affect you, and it may not – until it hits that sensitive spot. We all have one. That’s what makes the whole ordeal unfair. People tend to attack you by bringing up points that have nothing to do with your argument. And that is when stuff starts to get personal.

You can combat all negative energy with positive content. Whether you believe it or not, your content says a lot about your character. If you don’t want to be judged by it, then don’t post it. It’s as confusing as a vegan posting a dish containing meat. You can’t promote eating clean with red meat on your plate. Do your cheating offline like everyone else😄.

We all have the freedom to do whatever we want to, so post whatever you’d like. Just be prepared for more than a “like”.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Photo: Flickr. Social Media Prob by Clyde Harris

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A Message to My Followers

I’m taking a break this week because I’ve been inundated with preparing my youngest child for his high school graduation. It’s been a challenging journey, but I’m glad we’ve made it to the finish line.

I’d like to thank each of you from reading and engaging with my blogs. Your attention to my content is much appreciated. I hope I’ve helped you to overcome some obstacles in your life and become a better person, while keeping you entertained as well.

Reflection

I want you to remember the lessons discussed in the previous weeks and apply them to your life, so I will provide a brief recap of a few of the hot topics.

Don’t Limit Yourself with your tongue, bad habits, distractions, and by making excuses. You don’t have to be a giant to reach for the stars. You just need faith, willpower, and commitment.

Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself. Seek help from a professional and comfort and support from trusted family members and friends. Otherwise, your coping mechanism will become a lifestyle that can destroy you.

Learn To Be Happy In That Moment or live with grief and regret. Practice changing your thoughts and making yourself happy. Doses of happiness can lead to a lifetime of joy and peace.

A Real Friend Is Good To Have when you find yourself losing yourself trying to cope with any type of grief. Don’t be afraid to let someone in. Emotional exhaustion is a “human” experience.

Fake Friends Can Be A Real Problem because they are toxic, and toxins are known to destroy the body. A fake friend is nothing more than a parasite eating away at your life. If you value your mind, body, and spirit, detoxify your circle immediately.

Self Correction Is The Best Remedy For Change because no one can control your demons but you. Rebuke the evil spirit that lives within you so you can become a better version of yourself.

Your Best Look Is Maturity because ignorance is not fashionable. Like it or not, you are judged by how you react, not what you react to.

Kill Them With Confidence because your self-worth, dignity, reputation, and peace hold more value than someone’s worthless opinion.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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Kill Them with Confidence

Last week’s blog was entitled, Your Best Look is Maturity. I discussed how an adjustment in your attitude can improve conflict resolution. This week, I will share an important aspect of maturity.

Was It Really Necessary?

It took me a while to learn that every action did not deserve a reaction. I wouldn’t say I had always reacted to every jab thrown at me, but I did let some attack me emotionally. I would vent my frustrations and explanations on social media in full-length paragraphs. Then the comments would start rolling in from my virtual audience.

Though my messages were always solid and on point, I later realized they weren’t necessary. My character and accomplishments spoke for themselves.

Don’t Let Others Define You

I thought I had to be this perfect example for my peers because people expected nothing but the best from me. Growing up, I was known as this intelligent kid with a sweet spirit and bright future. I was gregarious and treated everyone with love and respect. I never intentionally broke the rules or behaved badly at home or school. Plus, I maintained a spot on the “A” Honor Roll and received many other accolades in school. Consequently, I was called a nerd and teacher’s pet.

I had no problem meeting anyone’s expectations until I became pregnant at 17, right after high school.

Here are a couple of remarks I received:

Janitor: You waited until you got out of school to do that?

Classmate: Bianca, how could you let this happen to you?

So much more was said prior to the pregnancy because I was dating a football jock. Plus, it was unlikely for me to be dating anyone. At the time, those words did hurt, but I didn’t know how to use my voice to defend myself. I could’ve lashed out on the classmate, but I was taught to respect my elders.

For years, I couldn’t understand why so many people had a negative opinion about me, when all I’d ever said were nice things to people, unless I felt attacked in an argument. From my choice to conceive, get married, stay in my marriage, relocate, and conceive again, the criticism was ongoing amongst family, friends, and peers. Whether I was winning or losing in life, seems like someone always had something to say about it. Can I get a witness?

I’m actually glad I didn’t find my voice until later in life because I would’ve had much more conflict. Seems like when I did, I had become too reckless at times. There was no balance. I was either hot or cold. I guess it was from years of biting my tongue and suppressing my feelings.

Kindness is Still Cool, but Confidence is Key

I was taught to kill people with kindness, and I still practice this virtue. But as I’ve grown wiser, I found it more powerful to kill people with confidence. You do so by not seeking validation.

You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to be who you are. You were uniquely designed and custom made to fulfill your individual destiny. There’s a valid reason the for the “divide” in the word “individual”. No two people are the same, not even twins.

Be Yourself and Nothing Else

Whatever you do in life, do it with so much finesse until you exceed your own expectations, but don’t ever try to meet anyone else’s. That goes for your parents too. It creates too much anxiety and unnecessary stress. Do whatever you want to and be whomever you want to, not who they want you to be. The peace you will gain is painless and priceless!

Whatever choices you make, you must live with them. Should you make the wrong choice, have enough faith and confidence in yourself to make an epic rebound.

And remember… “Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Confidence by Mario

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