Motivation – Life Lessons

It’s How You Finish

Most people in this world start out with a pretty rough patch, but I’m here to testify that it doesn’t have to end that way. As long as you’re living, your story is still being written. As long as you’re spiritually grounded, you are receiving God’s gifts. As long as God is your strength, he’ll keep fighting for your peace every day. And as long as you’re winning, God is gaining all the credit.

Your Story, God’s Glory

Whether you grew up in the projects, scattered-sites, or suburbs, everyone has a story to tell. Therefore, you can never assume someone necessarily had it better than you because of where they grew up. It’s about how they grew up.

Someone growing up in the projects may have had to duck from bullets in their bedroom. Someone growing up in the scattered-sites may have had to duck from punches while their parents were fighting. Someone who grew up in the suburbs may have had to duck from the bully at school. Nowadays, anything can happen anywhere.

Either you are motivated to change the course of your life or continue to live in your past. You only get to create one story of your life, but each chapter doesn’t have to tell the same story. Don’t let your upbringing be an excuse for failure. Use it as ammunition to keep fighting. The beauty of it all is that you’ll never have to fight alone.

Your Plight, God’s Fight

Everyone faced some trials and tribulations to get where they are today. There were times you felt like giving up but God helped you keep going. There were times when the burdens felt too heavy to carry alone, but God lent you a hand or took them away. There were times you put on your boxing gloves and swung with all your might, but God hit the target and ended the battle. That kind of peace triggers unspeakable joy!

God’s Gifts, Your Blessings

Any time you complete an important assignment, project, or goal, don’t you feel like celebrating? You might throw a party, take a trip, or simply treat yourself to a bottle of wine and relaxation. That feeling of relief is priceless! But shortly after, it’s back to the rat race as usual.

Gifts from ourselves or others are great, but the feeling isn’t everlasting. That’s why for every step you take towards any achievement, you should count it as a gift from God. When you make it to the finish line, tally up each gift and you will see the blessings unfold right before your eyes. That feeling is not only priceless – it’s breathtaking!

God’s gifts cannot be broken, destroyed, or transferred and always lead to blessings. Your partner bought you a ring, but God blessed you with a marriage. The school honored you with a scholarship, but God blessed you with an education. The bank approved your loan, but God blessed you with a home. Your significant other gave you his seed, but God blessed you with a child. Your parents gave you DNA, but God paved the way for your success!

Your Win, God’s Gain

When we finally make it to the finish line, we give God all the glory because the road trip wasn’t easy. In fact, it was filled with blood, sweat, tears, and loss for some, including setbacks, restarts, and extensions…everything but excuses. All that matters is you made it.

Now that you’ve won. God feels like his work is done for that chapter in your life. He too feels accomplished for walking you through a challenging time in your life. It is said that what is hard for us is easy for God, but I believe it’s just not as hard for God as it is for us.

While God is working overtime in your favor, the devil is busy setting up traps for you to fail, so he can win you over. That’s why some things take longer than expected. Have you ever taken a road trip that should’ve only taken eight hours but took 12 instead? Perhaps you suddenly ran into unexpected traffic, roadblocks, bad weather, a mechanical breakdown, or some other delay? What about the debt or discrepancies you had to resolve before getting approved for your mortgage loan? To my graduates, have you ever had to postpone your graduation date because life got in the way?

It’s always something, isn’t it? That something may not always be the devil though. Sometimes that something is just life happening to you or the result of having a life. No one ever said it would be easy or fair. Nonetheless, God is that someone who delivers us all. When you count your blessings, count God three times.

“From the moment you discovered who you are, troubles seemed near, and blessings seemed far. Trust the process. The sky is the limit. It’s not how you started, it’s how you finish.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Living A Blessed Life

Your best life is a blessed life. If you’re reading this, you were blessed with sight, internet access, and the ability to touch. Doesn’t seem like much until you meet someone who cannot do all of the above.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, try focusing on what you do have. I know it’s easier said than done at times, but you need to practice. Why? Because negative thinking leads to worrying. Worry leads to stress, and stress is the gateway to depression. You’ll find yourself eating too much or too less, or spending excessively, to name a few. Worst of all, you may pick up on a bad habit like smoking.

You may also need to take a step back from social media. Social media will give you a false representation of other people’s lives. Some people are living their best lives, and some are making it look that way. I love to see people in healthy relationships, taking nice vacations, and sharing their achievements. It’s inspiring! However, you have no idea of the trials and tribulations they face and what cross they may have to bear, so just be happy for them, and pray for those who are fabricating the life they desire.

Over the years, I’ve learned some disheartening things about people who I thought had it all together. I wish I had not known because I was rooting for them and relishing in their wins. Some people have nothing to say until they learn about one’s failures or fate. I often hear things like, “I didn’t know”. It’s because you didn’t need to know about the pain behind their progress. You were supposed to be rooting for them regardless.

Before I close, I’m going to dissect the phrase, “living my best life”. It simply means that the worst is behind you, you’re unbothered, and/or you’ve learned not to let your problems keep you from living. It has nothing to do with money or success. If you’re not living your best life, then learn to be okay with living your blessed life.

“The best thing about life is that you don’t have to do it all by yourself. When it gets too hard, give it to God🙏🏽”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽

Mental Disability or Accountability?

A therapist can give you a clinical diagnosis of your behavior or feelings and strategies for overcoming them. But, let’s face it. Everyone is not battling with mental health issues. Some people are battling with morality issues. Others are weaponizing their mental disabilities.

Regular therapy sessions are meant to help you cope with your mental condition, not weaponize it. Thus, there’s no excuse for your abuse to others. Take full responsibility and accountability for your actions.

Every time you make a bad decision, you can’t keep blaming it on your mental state. You choose to deflect instead of accept the fact that you were wrong. I’m sure your therapist told you to take some responsibility and how to appropriately address the situation so you can heal. That’s their job. Your job is to listen and apply what you’ve learned.

Too many people in the world are gaslighting instead of igniting their inner strength to change their behavior. Regardless of your mental state, you need to learn to accept accountability for how you treat people.

No disorder should prevent you from acknowledging your role in any given situation or simply apologizing for your actions. If therapy and medication are not helping you with accountability, then you need prayer and supplication as well. Then you’ll have the trinity: spirit, therapy, and medication.

Nowadays, every behavioral trait has a clinical name. We’re putting more faith in what experts have to say instead of what God has been saying. No one can transform you but Him. Spiritual research reveals:

You can’t always have your way.

You can’t keep lying to people.

You can’t keep playing the victim.

You can’t always have the last word.

You can’t always be right.

You can’t always be first.

You can’t keep starting fights, yet expect to have a peaceful life.

Your disorder comes from thinking:

Everyone else is toxic.

Everyone else is disloyal.

Everyone else is untrustworthy.

Everyone else is unfaithful.

Everyone else is untruthful.

Everyone else is dishonest.

Everyone else is selfish.

Everyone else is narcissistic.

Everyone else is judgmental.

You sound like a saint, and no one can claim that title – not even priests and nuns.

Stop leaving yourself out of the equation of every altercation, disagreement, or misunderstanding. It doesn’t matter whether you come before or after a given sign, you’re still apart of the equation.

You can add (+) value with accountability. This is the best way to get someone’s attention and reduce tension.

You can eliminate (-) negative energy or unnecessary chatter by not reacting or overreacting. The person is easier to reason with when calm. This is your opportunity to get to the root of the problem by asking specific questions. Oftentimes, silence alone can kill many arguments.

You can intensify (*) an argument by involving others, bringing up irrelevant information, jumping to conclusions, using a negative tone, attacking the person instead of the problem, and etc.

You can always divide (/) and conquer. Every action does not deserve a reaction, especially when it comes from total strangers. You must learn to walk away.

Continue your therapy sessions. I fully support your remedy for mental reconstruction and self improvement. But if you’re checking every box except accountability, then now is the time to start.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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