choices – Life Lessons

Do It For Yourself

Whatever it is you’re doing in life, make sure you’re doing it for yourself. It’s okay to secure a bag, but it’s best to secure your own happiness first. I believe most people would live simple lives if they weren’t comparing themselves to others or trying to meet some societal standard. Many say they don’t care what others think, but their lifestyle says otherwise.

In my 46 years of living, I’ve observed how people in rural areas live versus people in urban and suburban areas. It seems like people who live in the country (rural areas) prioritize peace over worldly possessions. They may look like they don’t have much by the way they dress, but they usually own acres of land. Now, you tell me which is worth more? I also find them to be some of the happiest, kindest, and content people in the United States.

They are also healthier because they eat more fresh foods from their own gardens and local markets. One of my kin folks in Mississippi recently celebrated her 99th birthday. Nevertheless, she’s not the only kin of mine in her 90s. I wouldn’t say all of them are very healthy, but they are still here. When I talk to these folks, they don’t seem to worry and stress as much as us city folks do, which is a huge contributor to health. They don’t value material things and aesthetics so much either. Most city folks invest more in vanity than their own sanity. Some of us will even risk our own lives for the perfect look.

So, take a look at your life and ask yourself, am I doing this for me? Anyone who desires everlasting joy and peace will not let anything or anyone compromise it. Therefore, if anything or anyone is jeopardizing your peace, let it go. If beauty is making you go broke, learn to love your natural self. If you’re constantly spending money you don’t have to attend every event or travel frequently, learn to live within your limits and explore less costly hobbies. Whether you’re in Mexico or Maine, they’re going to like your post anyway. If that big house and luxury car are breaking the bank, downsize. They’re going to talk about you either way. But I’d rather downsize my assets and upsize my peace any day.

“I don’t need to have everything, but I have everything I need. Pleasing others is just too hard, so I live within my means.”

-Bianca A. McCormicks-Johnson ✍🏽

Check out my books by clicking the links below:

I’m G.O.O.D. – Volume One

https://a.co/d/dDLzPDo

I’m Still G.O.O.D. – Volume Two

https://a.co/d/8t5nx9m

It’s Never Too Late

As you get older, you may start feeling like it’s too late to do some things. Too late to get married. Too late to have kids. Too late to start a family. Too late to start your business. Too late to go back to school. Too late to change your diet. Too late to just start living!

Whatever you’re currently facing may be new to you but familiar to someone else. Hard for you but manageable for someone else. Desirable to you but undesirable to someone else, so learn to keep some stuff to yourself. Otherwise, that feeling will never leave.

You must be careful with who you confide in because one’s opinion might shape your belief or curve your decision. However, sometimes people don’t intend to be malicious or shady in their comments. It’s not always meant for you.

As an opinionated person myself, I used to make mindless comments because I would talk so much. I can honestly say I have never meant to hurt anyone with my words in informal or formal conversations. Consequently, I’ve learned to talk less and listen more, especially when talking to people I’m not well acquainted with. Though I’m still pretty talkative at times, I’m more careful with words.

Don’t listen to naysayers

Never let someone’s opinion dim your light and stop the execution of your plan. You were made for something bigger than someone’s opinion. But if you’re also afraid of what others might say or think, then you’ll stop the execution of your own plan with fear.

Learn to accept constructive criticism

We all love good conversation and positive energy, but we must also learn to accept constructive criticism. A good friend or family member may not always tell you what you want to hear. They’ll tell you what you need to hear instead. No one can decide on your future but you. However, you should want your loved ones to at least try to keep you from making a fool of yourself.

Let’s say one feels like it’s time for you to bear a child because you’re in your late 30’s. You want a baby so bad, you start sleeping with this married man. In conversation with a friend, you admit that the two of you don’t always use protection. Your friend immediately comments on how you’re going about things the wrong way; then you get upset. Not only did she check you on one bad decision but two.

Don’t take everything personal

If you’re a sensitive person, you should stay off social media and avoid watching stand up comedy. You can’t always expect kindness, comfort, and positivity, especially from people who don’t even know you. However, if you follow the right people, you just might get that. Some people post just to get a reaction, and comedians are paid to tell jokes, even if it means playing on your pain.

Wise up

Whatever it is you want, tell it God, not people. Sometimes He will use people as a conduit and speak through them, but you must always use discernment.

“Time isn’t to be wasted but neither is your life. Let God lay the blueprint so it comes out right.”

-Bianca A. McCormicks-Johnson ✍🏽

Check out my books by clicking the links below:

I’m G.O.O.D. – Volume One

https://a.co/d/dDLzPDo

I’m Still G.O.O.D. – Volume Two

https://a.co/d/8t5nx9m

It’s How You Finish

Most people in this world start out with a pretty rough patch, but I’m here to testify that it doesn’t have to end that way. As long as you’re living, your story is still being written. As long as you’re spiritually grounded, you are receiving God’s gifts. As long as God is your strength, he’ll keep fighting for your peace every day. And as long as you’re winning, God is gaining all the credit.

Your Story, God’s Glory

Whether you grew up in the projects, scattered-sites, or suburbs, everyone has a story to tell. Therefore, you can never assume someone necessarily had it better than you because of where they grew up. It’s about how they grew up.

Someone growing up in the projects may have had to duck from bullets in their bedroom. Someone growing up in the scattered-sites may have had to duck from punches while their parents were fighting. Someone who grew up in the suburbs may have had to duck from the bully at school. Nowadays, anything can happen anywhere.

Either you are motivated to change the course of your life or continue to live in your past. You only get to create one story of your life, but each chapter doesn’t have to tell the same story. Don’t let your upbringing be an excuse for failure. Use it as ammunition to keep fighting. The beauty of it all is that you’ll never have to fight alone.

Your Plight, God’s Fight

Everyone faced some trials and tribulations to get where they are today. There were times you felt like giving up but God helped you keep going. There were times when the burdens felt too heavy to carry alone, but God lent you a hand or took them away. There were times you put on your boxing gloves and swung with all your might, but God hit the target and ended the battle. That kind of peace triggers unspeakable joy!

God’s Gifts, Your Blessings

Any time you complete an important assignment, project, or goal, don’t you feel like celebrating? You might throw a party, take a trip, or simply treat yourself to a bottle of wine and relaxation. That feeling of relief is priceless! But shortly after, it’s back to the rat race as usual.

Gifts from ourselves or others are great, but the feeling isn’t everlasting. That’s why for every step you take towards any achievement, you should count it as a gift from God. When you make it to the finish line, tally up each gift and you will see the blessings unfold right before your eyes. That feeling is not only priceless – it’s breathtaking!

God’s gifts cannot be broken, destroyed, or transferred and always lead to blessings. Your partner bought you a ring, but God blessed you with a marriage. The school honored you with a scholarship, but God blessed you with an education. The bank approved your loan, but God blessed you with a home. Your significant other gave you his seed, but God blessed you with a child. Your parents gave you DNA, but God paved the way for your success!

Your Win, God’s Gain

When we finally make it to the finish line, we give God all the glory because the road trip wasn’t easy. In fact, it was filled with blood, sweat, tears, and loss for some, including setbacks, restarts, and extensions…everything but excuses. All that matters is you made it.

Now that you’ve won. God feels like his work is done for that chapter in your life. He too feels accomplished for walking you through a challenging time in your life. It is said that what is hard for us is easy for God, but I believe it’s just not as hard for God as it is for us.

While God is working overtime in your favor, the devil is busy setting up traps for you to fail, so he can win you over. That’s why some things take longer than expected. Have you ever taken a road trip that should’ve only taken eight hours but took 12 instead? Perhaps you suddenly ran into unexpected traffic, roadblocks, bad weather, a mechanical breakdown, or some other delay? What about the debt or discrepancies you had to resolve before getting approved for your mortgage loan? To my graduates, have you ever had to postpone your graduation date because life got in the way?

It’s always something, isn’t it? That something may not always be the devil though. Sometimes that something is just life happening to you or the result of having a life. No one ever said it would be easy or fair. Nonetheless, God is that someone who delivers us all. When you count your blessings, count God three times.

“From the moment you discovered who you are, troubles seemed near, and blessings seemed far. Trust the process. The sky is the limit. It’s not how you started, it’s how you finish.”

-Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson ✍🏽