Social Media Has No Filter For Your Feelings

I get it…Facebook asks you, “What’s on your mind?” Twitter asks you, “What’s happening? Instagram pretty much says, “Do you.” But do you have to?

Think of it like this. If you wouldn’t say or do it in public, then don’t say or do it on social media because it’s the same as doing it in public – only much worse. At least in public, only a group of people might witness your behavior, unless of course, someone records you. But when you take the liberty to post it on social media, you’ve been exposed to the whole world.

You can’t control other people’s actions, especially in a society where people seek an opportunity to catch someone off guard or in rare form for views, reactions, and shares. But you can control your own behavior, on and off of social media.

What’s your purpose?

Behind every post, there is a motive, whether it’s to share information, promote a product or service, get a reaction, seek advice or recommendations; for empathy, sympathy, entertainment, attention, and etc. However, you must understand that anything posted publicly welcomes comments – some you may like or dislike. Depending on how deep it is, it might go viral and trigger unfriendly memes.

You are not exempt from judgment in the cyber world. Trolls and bullies are standing by to disrupt your spirit. You thought it was safe to vent in your TikTok video or Facebook Live until the trolls gave you a rude awakening the next morning. Now you’re the poster child of an unfit mother or dead beat dad, savage single lady, or misogynistic male.

What you may have meant for entertainment might place you under attack, so beware. You do have every right to exercise Amendment #1 and post or upload content to your taste, but if you are a sensitive person, you should moderate your content and consider not posting it at all, especially if it’s personal.

Trolling and bullying are not cool, but some people live for this. If the site you’re posting on does not deem a person’s comment offensive, then you must train yourself to unsee it or be strong enough to just take. Or, you could spend countless hours debating and trying to defend yourself. If you have the time and energy, then go for it. But please leave your feelings on the bench because the trolls and bullies will show no mercy on the field.

Don’t take it personal, It’s virtual

Now that the trolls have remixed your message or content, you have two choices: you can either try to redeem yourself or just let it go. I suggest you just let it go because for one, it’s virtual. You can turn these people off at anytime by simply not logging on. It’s who you to let into your personal space that matters. For two, with so much going on in the world and new content being uploaded by the nanosecond, yours will soon be forgotten about. For three, people’s opinions do not define who you are. You do.

Words can hurt

Most people don’t post content to get a negative reaction, but that comes with it. You can try to pretend that the opinions of others don’t affect you, and it may not – until it hits that sensitive spot. We all have one. That’s what makes the whole ordeal unfair. People tend to attack you by bringing up points that have nothing to do with your argument. And that is when stuff starts to get personal.

You can combat all negative energy with positive content. Whether you believe it or not, your content says a lot about your character. If you don’t want to be judged by it, then don’t post it. It’s as confusing as a vegan posting a dish containing meat. You can’t promote eating clean with red meat on your plate. Do your cheating offline like everyone else😄.

We all have the freedom to do whatever we want to, so post whatever you’d like. Just be prepared for more than a “like”.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

Photo: Flickr. Social Media Prob by Clyde Harris

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A Message to My Followers

I’m taking a break this week because I’ve been inundated with preparing my youngest child for his high school graduation. It’s been a challenging journey, but I’m glad we’ve made it to the finish line.

I’d like to thank each of you from reading and engaging with my blogs. Your attention to my content is much appreciated. I hope I’ve helped you to overcome some obstacles in your life and become a better person, while keeping you entertained as well.

Reflection

I want you to remember the lessons discussed in the previous weeks and apply them to your life, so I will provide a brief recap of a few of the hot topics.

Don’t Limit Yourself with your tongue, bad habits, distractions, and by making excuses. You don’t have to be a giant to reach for the stars. You just need faith, willpower, and commitment.

Don’t Lose Yourself Trying to Find Yourself. Seek help from a professional and comfort and support from trusted family members and friends. Otherwise, your coping mechanism will become a lifestyle that can destroy you.

Learn To Be Happy In That Moment or live with grief and regret. Practice changing your thoughts and making yourself happy. Doses of happiness can lead to a lifetime of joy and peace.

A Real Friend Is Good To Have when you find yourself losing yourself trying to cope with any type of grief. Don’t be afraid to let someone in. Emotional exhaustion is a “human” experience.

Fake Friends Can Be A Real Problem because they are toxic, and toxins are known to destroy the body. A fake friend is nothing more than a parasite eating away at your life. If you value your mind, body, and spirit, detoxify your circle immediately.

Self Correction Is The Best Remedy For Change because no one can control your demons but you. Rebuke the evil spirit that lives within you so you can become a better version of yourself.

Your Best Look Is Maturity because ignorance is not fashionable. Like it or not, you are judged by how you react, not what you react to.

Kill Them With Confidence because your self-worth, dignity, reputation, and peace hold more value than someone’s worthless opinion.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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Your Best Look is “Maturity”

Last week’s blog was entitled, Self Correction is the Best Remedy for Change. I shared a practical step-by-step behavioral self assessment. This week, I challenge you to implement that strategy for change in your daily walk.

We take time to choose the best outfit that flatters our figure or matches our masculinity, in the case of males, when dressing for a particular event or appointment. There’s no room for flaws in our appearance because we want to turn heads or make a good impression. Ladies will get a full salon and spa service, and gentlemen will leave the barbershop razor sharp. But why don’t we shape our attitude before leaving the house?

No More Drama

We could eliminate so much drama if we took as much time to groom our attitude as we do our body. There would be less Waffle House fights, bar and club fights, party and picnic fights, and the like. Why get all dressed up just to lose your dignity and possibly the fight, when you could’ve just walked away? At least, that’s what a “mature” person would do. Hopefully, this doesn’t apply to most of you.

The following scenarios are only hypothetical…

Maturity Lesson 1: Mistakes happen and we all make them.

Let’s say you’re running errands or headed to the grocery store. You’re dressed down in your loungewear instead. You get hungry and decide to pull up to a drive-thru fast food restaurant. As you pull over to the side to check your order, you notice it’s incorrect or something is missing. You used the drive-thru to avoid getting out of the car, so you enter the restaurant heated. By the time you make it to the counter, you’re creating a scene by arguing with the cashier over a biscuit and some fries. Now, your calorie count and blood pressure are high.

Maturity Lesson 2: Your lack of planning is not an urgency on another’s part.

Let’s say you’re headed to work and running late. Because you’re running late and everyone’s supposed to know that, you expect traffic to move faster. Suddenly, everyone is going too slow for you. You’re moving from lane to lane without using blinkers and riding everyone’s tail in bumper-to-bumper traffic. While you’re making suicide moves, traffic isn’t moving any faster and you’re probably still going to be late. Meanwhile, the last car you jumped in front of is only two to three car lengths behind you. Now you’ve created unnecessary road rage out of impatience and rudeness, when you could’ve left earlier.

Maturity Lesson 3: If it’s not true, then there’s no need to defend yourself.

Suppose you receive that disturbing phone call in which you are falsely accused, and you snap. Or maybe someone in your family is spreading false rumors about you, and you confront him or her with hostility.

Disturbing phone calls and in-person confrontations can go all the way left because they usually trigger a slap, punch, expletives, or regretful words. Your aggression makes you look guilty of something indeed. Even if the accusation or rumor isn’t true, it becomes evident you are defensive and quick-tempered.

Maturity Lesson 4: Nip it in the bud or let it go.

Perhaps it is finally time to address a serious matter with a friend, family member, spouse, colleague, church member, neighbor, etc and because you let it fester, you have built up aggression. Needless to say, the argument doesn’t go so well.

However, when it’s time to approach someone about a serious matter, you at least have time to gather your thoughts and a possible solution. The unknown lies in how the other person responds. You can only control your own actions.

Crowned by Maturity

Whether you win or lose in a battle, you walk away with respect when exercising maturity. The person who pushed your button or tried to challenge you then looks foolish because you took away his or her power. Fools are fueled by reactions. When you pull that plug, their engine dies.

I’ve failed many tests by reacting unfavorably. I’ve even resigned from a good job in my early twenties and probably wouldn’t have been eligible for rehire at other jobs because of my attitude. I once reproached the Dean of Education in a defaming letter, based on rumors from a messy secretary. My attitude back then was, “This is just how I am, like it or not.”

I was never a bad person. I just sometimes had a bad attitude when I felt challenged. But once I learned how to adjust my attitude, adjusting my crown came with ease.

A crown represents the pinnacle of personal development. We can’t call ourselves kings and queens if we’re not behaving like them. Therefore, whether you are preparing to attend a ball or run errands, your best look is always maturity.

And remember… “Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Maturity by Nikki Naughty

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