When 50/50 Becomes 80/20 in Marriage

Would you agree that marriage isn’t always 50/50? I’d have to say that it is never 50/50. That would imply that each responsibility is always evenly divided. With 18 years of experience, I can assure you that is not the case for a practical, healthy marriage. First, let me tell you what I mean by practical and healthy in terms of marriage. In a practical marriage, everything is not always going to be consistent, and everyday invites new challenges or opportunities. Plus, some responsibilities are shared. For example, a housewife who accepts a full-time job and attends school may not be able to hold up her end of the bargain every day. The added responsibilities consume most of the free time she once had. Hence, her husband may have to either pick up some of the responsibilities or they become shared. Consequently, he might be pulling 80 percent while she’s only pulling 20 some days.

A happy marriage is not necessarily a healthy marriage, if you’re only happy when everything goes your way. What ever happened to compromising? So you’d prefer light cabinets, but he prefers dark. You want the Mercedes, so you convince him not to get the BMW. You want the more expensive home that is closer to your job as the opposed to the more affordable one that would put both of you half way. Basically, if you’re the only one happy in the marriage, then it is indeed not healthy because if your spouse ever gets in a position where he or she cannot satisfy you, you’ll probably be ready to throw in the towel. In a healthy marriage, love should be enough. Where there is love, there is should be adequate satisfaction.

What about when you’re ill or in your feelings? Come on, now. Don’t act like you don’t get in your feelings sometimes, especially us females. My monthly visitor creates an indescribable, inevitable imbalance that changes my whole personality. Mother nature sure has her way of bringing out the worst in women. Does he really expect you to give 100 percent when you turn into the Tasmanian Devil? I wouldn’t dare, if the tables were turned. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who is only willing to pull 50 percent of the weight. No one can be 100 percent every day, but if you only commit to 50 in the first place, you’re at the half mark of a failing marriage. If you desire for your marriage to last, be an example of how you would like your spouse to be.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them!

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“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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Photo: Flickr. Marriage by Takashi Hososhima CC

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Author: Bianca A. McCormick-Johnson

In short, I'm a work of ART (Ability, Responsibility, & Tranquility). My goal is to Attract, Retain, and Teach an audience between the ages of 14 to about 50 and beyond the disciplines of life. I've been blessed with the gift of giving knowledge and creating peace within the souls of many who are starving for spiritual satisfaction. I'm no prophet, but I do believe that I am one of God's chosen spiritual leaders and sources of information on how to walk a straight path down a crooked road.

4 thoughts on “When 50/50 Becomes 80/20 in Marriage”

  1. You definitely need some kind of balance/compromise for any RELATIONSHIP to work. Stay open minded and not closed. No one stays the same throughout the years of a relationship. Keep learning and enjoying your mate. Now monthly emotions is based upon that individual female. I don’t like that many use that as an excuse to be mean/ugly to their spouse/mate. #10yearsandcounting

    1. Thanks for your engagement and enthusiasm, Ceaser! You are so correct. I am working on trying to manage my emotions better during my cycle. I wish there was some magical pill I could take to balance my emotions:( Thank God for an understanding husband:)

    1. Thanks for your engagement and enthusiasm, Jeremiah! Single people can relate, too.

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