Too Thot to Trot

That Hoe Over There or “Thot” claims the name of a treacherous female with no shame in her game. How many of us have been thots before we married or settled down with that one person? What possessed you to behave in such manner? What makes you so different now? These questions are not meant to wake dead emotions or criticize your past persona. They are meant to make you think about how you used to be before you matured and became socially responsible.

You may have not been called a thot back then, but you were called some derogatory term such as whore, tramp, or slut. You were popping, shaking, or twerking in daisy dukes and crop tops and having sexual intercourse with different men before you got saved. You didn’t care what you were called as long as it wasn’t done to your face. Some of you even thought it was cool to sleep with married men. Some of you would go as far as seducing another girl’s boyfriend just to prove you can get him. If that’s not thottish, then I don’t know what else to call it.

Where was your head when you were thotting? Did you have some traumatic experience in your early childhood? Maybe mom or dad wasn’t there or showed neglect. Maybe you just wanted to be cool or accepted. Maybe you had low self-esteem. There are numerous reasons that could’ve kept you from being lady-like or modest. You probably didn’t realize that some unfortunate occurrence from your past was the root cause of your present behavior at the time. You just learned to live with it, or better yet, deal with it in such immoral way. No one ever sat you down and taught you how to be a lady, so you had to figure it out on your own or much later in life after making a few mistakes.

Many of you just had to learn from your mistakes because you wouldn’t listen to anybody. Some of you had excellent role models. But you wanted to be accepted by your peers who were thots as well. You later learned that the leader who is ostracized also gets the prize.

Most men do not value anything with a lot of miles on it unless it has a rebuilt engine. Still, he takes a chance on that beauty. Without proper diagnostic and maintenance, other things will start falling apart eventually. The one with less miles usually brings less worries, less drama, and less stress. If you didn’t think so, you wouldn’t have traded in your ’84 Ford or similar.

Young ladies, if you don’t want to be labeled as a thot, don’t behave or dress like one. If priests started wearing white hoods covering their faces, you’d confuse them with the Ku Klux Klan. Mature ladies, don’t judge them. Guide them.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

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Photo: Pixabay by Geralt CC

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Self-Love is the Best Love

It’s hard to love anyone else when you do not love yourself. Everyday, people look for love in all the wrong places because they can’t seem to identify that important aspect with themselves. If someone has to tell you that you are beautiful in order for you to believe it, then you do not love yourself. If the only time you feel confident is when you are looking like everyone else or doing what everyone else is doing, then you do not love yourself.

Self-love is an important trait to carry throughout life in order to get through life. If you are never satisfied with yourself, then you will never be satisfied with someone else. Men treasure women who are confident and comfortable with themselves. Most men try to live simple lives because they create their own disorder. They are not built to remember to do 110 things each day. Women create that balance. Thus, it is easy for a man to forget to tell you that you are beautiful, especially if he doesn’t see it as priority. If he is committed to you and expresses his love daily, then there is no need for the extra – not every day, at least. He feels as though he has shown you in more ways than one. Of course, women love compliments. It adds the icing on the cake. But it is one thing to want a compliment and another to actually need it to survive.

Your confidence is more attractive than your beauty. Confidence is acceptance of oneself. A confident woman does not need validation or confirmation because she knows that her make up is a work of art. She doesn’t care about being accepted by society or peers because she respects her right of ownership to who she is. Plus, she has a sense of individuality. She does not strive to be like anyone else. Her man does not make her. He only complements her. She doesn’t have to be an hour glass or coke bottle to define her beauty. She understands that beauty is deeper than the physical appearance.

Many battered, depressed, and miserable woman are beautiful on the outside. They were once beautiful on the inside as well until the enemy contaminated their spirits. I am not saying that these woman are ugly acting. But inner love cannot coexist with self-hatred. Women who hate themselves sometimes take it out on those who love them dearly, such as their children. Now, they are not only damaging to themselves but to others as well.

Life will throw us all curve balls at some point. Men will lie and cheat and repeat. Friends will betray us. People in general will disappoint us. Self-love gives you the strength to keep pushing forward because you love yourself too much to let anything keep you down. You can never love yourself too much, but you can create too much stress by not loving yourself. Nevertheless, self-love is not to be confused with embarrassing or degrading oneself. Looking or behaving ridiculously in public is not self-love. That’s just plain foolishness. In fact, it could be a sign that you don’t love yourself at all.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

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I Was Good in 2016, But I’ll Be Better in 2017





As I close out the year, I think about those I may have hurt with my words, actions, or attitude. At times I was aware, and at times I wasn’t. I wish I wouldn’t have made assumptions. I wish I would’ve been more understanding. I wish I would’ve been more conscious and aware. I wish I would’ve spent more time listening and less time talking. I often tried to apply the advice I had given to others. Most of the time it worked, but sometimes it didn’t. I am a living witness of things being easier said than done. But, that’s life. You have to accept the good with the bad.

On another note, I wondered if I looked better than I did last year or if I looked worse. I wondered if people saw me the same as they did when I was in high school. I held my stomach in while taking pictures. I took over a hundred selfies and only liked a few of them. I wore clothes that should have been passed on because I did not want to accept my weight gain. I practiced smiling in the mirror, so I could always be picture ready. I liked my smile in the mirror but hated it on pictures sometimes. I often wondered what it would be like to look like the celebrities on television. I always thought I could use a little more tits and butt. I also thought my waistline could be thinner, and my legs could be a little thicker. I thought my hair could be longer and straighter. I thought my skin could be smoother and less oily. I thought my face could be slimmer and shorter. Oh, and I thought my feet could be smaller to wear those cut shoes. If I changed everything I could, I wouldn’t have been myself anymore.

I laughed, I cried, and I loved with my whole heart. But I wonder if it was ever enough? I spent a lot of time thinking, meditating, and praying to get answers on what my future would be like. I spent a lot of time caring about what others thought of me. I paid too much attention to who was liking my posts versus who was actually viewing them. I entertained frivolous matters that did not contribute to my success. I worried about money too much. I focused on numbers too much. I pouted too much. I shouted too much. I cursed too much. I complained too much. But I’ve retained the lessons learned in this year.

I know I won’t be perfect next year, but I know I will be better. Don’t judge me until you read to the end of this letter. I cared, I loved, I gave, I prayed, I forgave, and put others before me. I smiled to lift people’s spirits, not so others would adore me. I prayed for people I did not know. I gave from the heart, not for show. I listened to people out of compassion, not for the tea, gossip, or attraction. I let little stuff get me down, but I didn’t spread my feelings around. I got mad when things didn’t go my way, but I didn’t bring it into the next day. I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I maintained a fabulous image to flaunt it. I didn’t finish everything I started, but I gave my all regardless. I didn’t achieve all my goals, but I watched my blessings unfold. I stayed away from drama and avoided strife. I don’t have an appetite for foolishness, but I have a huge appetite for life.

I will change what I can and accept what I can’t, but just because I can doesn’t mean I should.







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