Self-Love is the Best Love

It’s hard to love anyone else when you do not love yourself. Everyday, people look for love in all the wrong places because they can’t seem to identify that important aspect with themselves. If someone has to tell you that you are beautiful in order for you to believe it, then you do not love yourself. If the only time you feel confident is when you are looking like everyone else or doing what everyone else is doing, then you do not love yourself.

Self-love is an important trait to carry throughout life in order to get through life. If you are never satisfied with yourself, then you will never be satisfied with someone else. Men treasure women who are confident and comfortable with themselves. Most men try to live simple lives because they create their own disorder. They are not built to remember to do 110 things each day. Women create that balance. Thus, it is easy for a man to forget to tell you that you are beautiful, especially if he doesn’t see it as priority. If he is committed to you and expresses his love daily, then there is no need for the extra – not every day, at least. He feels as though he has shown you in more ways than one. Of course, women love compliments. It adds the icing on the cake. But it is one thing to want a compliment and another to actually need it to survive.

Your confidence is more attractive than your beauty. Confidence is acceptance of oneself. A confident woman does not need validation or confirmation because she knows that her make up is a work of art. She doesn’t care about being accepted by society or peers because she respects her right of ownership to who she is. Plus, she has a sense of individuality. She does not strive to be like anyone else. Her man does not make her. He only complements her. She doesn’t have to be an hour glass or coke bottle to define her beauty. She understands that beauty is deeper than the physical appearance.

Many battered, depressed, and miserable woman are beautiful on the outside. They were once beautiful on the inside as well until the enemy contaminated their spirits. I am not saying that these woman are ugly acting. But inner love cannot coexist with self-hatred. Women who hate themselves sometimes take it out on those who love them dearly, such as their children. Now, they are not only damaging to themselves but to others as well.

Life will throw us all curve balls at some point. Men will lie and cheat and repeat. Friends will betray us. People in general will disappoint us. Self-love gives you the strength to keep pushing forward because you love yourself too much to let anything keep you down. You can never love yourself too much, but you can create too much stress by not loving yourself. Nevertheless, self-love is not to be confused with embarrassing or degrading oneself. Looking or behaving ridiculously in public is not self-love. That’s just plain foolishness. In fact, it could be a sign that you don’t love yourself at all.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

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I Was Good in 2016, But I’ll Be Better in 2017





As I close out the year, I think about those I may have hurt with my words, actions, or attitude. At times I was aware, and at times I wasn’t. I wish I wouldn’t have made assumptions. I wish I would’ve been more understanding. I wish I would’ve been more conscious and aware. I wish I would’ve spent more time listening and less time talking. I often tried to apply the advice I had given to others. Most of the time it worked, but sometimes it didn’t. I am a living witness of things being easier said than done. But, that’s life. You have to accept the good with the bad.

On another note, I wondered if I looked better than I did last year or if I looked worse. I wondered if people saw me the same as they did when I was in high school. I held my stomach in while taking pictures. I took over a hundred selfies and only liked a few of them. I wore clothes that should have been passed on because I did not want to accept my weight gain. I practiced smiling in the mirror, so I could always be picture ready. I liked my smile in the mirror but hated it on pictures sometimes. I often wondered what it would be like to look like the celebrities on television. I always thought I could use a little more tits and butt. I also thought my waistline could be thinner, and my legs could be a little thicker. I thought my hair could be longer and straighter. I thought my skin could be smoother and less oily. I thought my face could be slimmer and shorter. Oh, and I thought my feet could be smaller to wear those cut shoes. If I changed everything I could, I wouldn’t have been myself anymore.

I laughed, I cried, and I loved with my whole heart. But I wonder if it was ever enough? I spent a lot of time thinking, meditating, and praying to get answers on what my future would be like. I spent a lot of time caring about what others thought of me. I paid too much attention to who was liking my posts versus who was actually viewing them. I entertained frivolous matters that did not contribute to my success. I worried about money too much. I focused on numbers too much. I pouted too much. I shouted too much. I cursed too much. I complained too much. But I’ve retained the lessons learned in this year.

I know I won’t be perfect next year, but I know I will be better. Don’t judge me until you read to the end of this letter. I cared, I loved, I gave, I prayed, I forgave, and put others before me. I smiled to lift people’s spirits, not so others would adore me. I prayed for people I did not know. I gave from the heart, not for show. I listened to people out of compassion, not for the tea, gossip, or attraction. I let little stuff get me down, but I didn’t spread my feelings around. I got mad when things didn’t go my way, but I didn’t bring it into the next day. I didn’t get everything I wanted, but I maintained a fabulous image to flaunt it. I didn’t finish everything I started, but I gave my all regardless. I didn’t achieve all my goals, but I watched my blessings unfold. I stayed away from drama and avoided strife. I don’t have an appetite for foolishness, but I have a huge appetite for life.

I will change what I can and accept what I can’t, but just because I can doesn’t mean I should.







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Haters Come with Success





You can’t have success without haters. People like to see you in a tight spot because you’re more relatable when you are. A person who can’t match your success will criticize everything about you. This is common in the black community. I’m sure it is in other communities as well, but I can relate more to my own.

I love the rhythm, resistance, and resilience of my people. We have endured some tough times and overcome many rejections. If I start adding them up, I would surely lose count. But you can’t let rejection change your perception of those who chose to defeat it.

We were all born with a gift or talent. Your failure to properly use yours gives you no right to rain on someone else’s parade. Fellas, if you spent more time shaping your future and less time shining your rims, you could have your own rim shop. Ladies, if you spent less time guessing how she can own that house off of McDonald’s income and more time trying to get out of debt, you too can own a home and a business. However, how people reach their level of success is none of your business.

Black people spend so much money trying to upstage one another, even if it costs them their last. Coach, Gucci, Prada and the like will only keep you in debt, not get you out. Some of you are so self-conscious that you won’t buy the “knock-off” brand because you are afraid of what people might say or think. You’d rather carry around a $300 bag with $30 in it just to give people the impression that you might have money. Then you want to gossip about the girl who bought a $30 bag but might be carrying $270 in it. In the meantime, she is working a full-time job and attending college. When she’s finally able to afford that $300 bag, you will know it because you’ll be the first one to hate.

My brothers and sisters, we must learn to come together to work together. I see so much talent and potential rotting in the possession of some of the most ignorant, blind-sided people. I wish I had the talent of some of these people who are wasting it. We’ve made history with many of our brilliant inventions, and now we make history with our small-minded goals and empty aspirations.

Ladies, you’d rather build a reputation with your looks than your brains. Fellas, you’d rather shine for the moment and cause others to suffer the consequences later. Your loved ones should not have to sell chicken and fish plates to bury you.

Haters, you can learn how to hustle and become great from successful people. Successful people, you can learn how to track your success from haters, for no one does it better.

A Message to My Successful People

If you know who your haters are, you’re only keeping them around to show off. Stop it! Successful people don’t have time for that! If you even acknowledge or entertain your haters, you’re wasting valuable time you cannot get back. Your memes are meaningless, if they don’t make you any money. You’re just as ignorant as they are for entertaining losers. If you can avoid them all together, you should. If you can’t because they are family members, co-workers, and etc, keep it cordial and carry on.

If you don’t know who your haters are, that means you let your success do the talking. They’ll continue to hate on you for sure, but they’ll respect you more.

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topic suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.








Photo: Flickr. Four the Haters by Tjololo Photo CC

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