The Marriage vs. The Wedding





Would you want a marriage or a wedding? The two are not interchangeable. A wedding is just a ceremony, but a marriage is a testimony. Sometimes we make decisions or commitments based on our status quo. Such commitment made out of anything other than love is not a marriage. So before you fasten your elegant dress sandals, just remember that the pain produced out of empty love is worse than the pain you will feel after dancing in those heels all night.

In a marriage, memories are created out of love, laughter, and living up to one’s expectations. Happiness comes from knowing you can trust and depend on your mate through the toughest times. Joy comes from knowing you are loved the same, no matter how much your looks might change. You accept that your mate is not perfect. But you relish in the fact that he or she is committed to pleasing you at all costs. You never feel lonely in a marriage. You never feel left out in a marriage. You never feel torn in a marriage, but you can become scorn when you find out all alone, you just had a wedding. Now this doesn’t imply that marriages are problem free. It’s just that people who are really in love with each other don’t let storms become disasters. You can’t always predict the weather in a marriage, but you can get a clear forecast in a wedding.

In a wedding, either one or both persons are not in love. Most of the time, it’s just one. It’s rare that two people who are not in love would even consider marriage. The person who is not in love has another interest(s). There are a number of reasons why a person would enter such agreement, but financial security, pregnancy, loneliness, religion, and acceptance are the top five on my list.

“If he has a lot of bling, marriage might be a good thing. Since I’m already with child, marriage fits the lifestyle. I’d rather have someone hold my hand than be alone in the stands. I don’t want to be judged or have bad luck, so I’d better stop shacking up. All my friends are married, so I better act now. I’m tired of standing out and living foul.”

Don’t get caught up in your feelings and insecurities. Instead of chasing money, seek a career. If your baby won’t be born into a loving family, then marriage won’t fix your problem. If you are lonely, join a social club. If you were so holy, you wouldn’t have been shacking up in the first place. And if your married friends don’t want to hang out anymore, find a new hobby or some new friends. If you go in with cold feet, you will come out with blisters. Therefore, don’t let anyone pressure you into getting married. When it’s your time, you’ll know it. If he is the one, he’ll show it. Marriage is easier to get into than it is to get out, so choose wisely.

When that time comes, don’t let money stop you from marrying your soulmate. The biggest weddings tend to have the biggest break ups, and the bigger the ring, the bigger might be his expectations. Don’t let the size of the wedding or the ring itself determine the strength of the love. The happiest marriage can come out of the smallest wedding. Trust me. I know firsthand:)

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.








Photo: Flickr. Shoes, legs, & just a glimpse of… by Jlhopgood CC

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

Share Button

When 50/50 Becomes 80/20 in Marriage

Would you agree that marriage isn’t always 50/50? I’d have to say that it is never 50/50. That would imply that each responsibility is always evenly divided. With 18 years of experience, I can assure you that is not the case for a practical, healthy marriage. First, let me tell you what I mean by practical and healthy in terms of marriage. In a practical marriage, everything is not always going to be consistent, and everyday invites new challenges or opportunities. Plus, some responsibilities are shared. For example, a housewife who accepts a full-time job and attends school may not be able to hold up her end of the bargain every day. The added responsibilities consume most of the free time she once had. Hence, her husband may have to either pick up some of the responsibilities or they become shared. Consequently, he might be pulling 80 percent while she’s only pulling 20 some days.

A happy marriage is not necessarily a healthy marriage, if you’re only happy when everything goes your way. What ever happened to compromising? So you’d prefer light cabinets, but he prefers dark. You want the Mercedes, so you convince him not to get the BMW. You want the more expensive home that is closer to your job as the opposed to the more affordable one that would put both of you half way. Basically, if you’re the only one happy in the marriage, then it is indeed not healthy because if your spouse ever gets in a position where he or she cannot satisfy you, you’ll probably be ready to throw in the towel. In a healthy marriage, love should be enough. Where there is love, there is should be adequate satisfaction.

What about when you’re ill or in your feelings? Come on, now. Don’t act like you don’t get in your feelings sometimes, especially us females. My monthly visitor creates an indescribable, inevitable imbalance that changes my whole personality. Mother nature sure has her way of bringing out the worst in women. Does he really expect you to give 100 percent when you turn into the Tasmanian Devil? I wouldn’t dare, if the tables were turned. To be honest, I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who is only willing to pull 50 percent of the weight. No one can be 100 percent every day, but if you only commit to 50 in the first place, you’re at the half mark of a failing marriage. If you desire for your marriage to last, be an example of how you would like your spouse to be.

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them!

And remember…
“Make sense of what you do, and make every cent count.”

What are your thoughts? I’d love to hear them.

Submit topics suggestions using the “Contact Me” page.

Photo: Flickr. Marriage by Takashi Hososhima CC

Something captured your interest? Don’t be selfish. Share with your friends!

Share Button